harlotry
by smileforme
Summary: When the word youth is used too much and Karin is a prostitute. Karin bashing. two shot.
1. Chapter 1

**ahh, i hate karin. i hate her soooo much. so that's why i made this! to torture her ugly, ugly soul with lee forever. :DDD**

**i do not own naruto. **

**if i did,**

**lee would be fucking ruler of the world.**

* * *

There comes a time in every man's life when he feels the need to settle down and get married, maybe have a few kids, have a great paying job. All of that is simple for a man to do, as long as he finds the right woman. For Lee, though, it's not so simple.

Here you have a tall, lanky but fit, bowl cut haired guy who is from top to bottom awkward in all ways, and his eyes are perfect circles all the way around. Not to mention his eyebrows have more hair than a girl who hasn't shaved in three years.

Yeah.

That's not very appealing, right?

Didn't think so.

Anyways, for some reason Lee suddenly decided he wanted to get married and find the perfect woman. It happened suddenly one day, out of nowhere.

There Lee was, skipping along in a field of daises, singing the ever famous song, 'Puff The Magic Dragon' when he spotted a young couple in the distance.

Skipping at hyper speed, he got closer to the couple and realized it was Sasuke and Sakura sitting on a bench. He watched as Sasuke rubbed the growing bump on Sakura's belly. Lee sighed, as a river of tears fell down his cheeks. He was supposed to be the one having a child with Sakura-chan…

Sasuke and his team had returned to Konoha four years ago, the following two years, Sasuke and Sakura had gotten married; they already have a little son. That killed Lee inside. But he was now determined to find someone almost as good as Sakura.

"I SHAL FIND SOMEONE WITH BEAUTY AND YOUUUUTTTTTHHHHH!" Lee grinned and skipped around in a circle," Youth. Youth. Youth. Youth. YOUUUTHHHHHHH!"

He chuckled deviously to himself as he ran at a prompt speed into town.

Lee looked around and spotted Hinata.

_She's beautiful but she's not very youthful… OH WELL. I CAN CHANGE THAT._

He ran up to Hinata's side and grasped her hand tightly," Hinata-chan, will you please marry me, the sexiest beast in Konoha, in the most youthful of ways in the world? It doesn't matter if you are youthful, you can be married in to youth and have my youthful babies of youth!"

Hinata blushed nervously and tried to gently pull her hand away," U-Uhh…L-Lee-san…"

Lee's eyes sparkled brightly," Yes beautiful ray of sunshine?"

Then, he suddenly felt a fist being pounded into his head repeatedly.

"Get your fucking hands of my girlfriend!"

Lee looked up, which resulted in his face getting punched in, but for some reason, that didn't seem to faze him in the least bit, he let go of Hinata's hand and stared up at Kiba.

"We can't share this unyouthful but stunning young woman?"

Kiba growled and grabbed Lee by his green jumpsuit, pulling his face dangerously close to his, and talked through clenched teeth," Fuck off Lee, she's mine."

He sighed," All right. I'd rather not try to mess with your youth, you can deal with that shit on your own." Lee backed away from the couple and headed down the street, sighing to himself.

"YOSH. I NEED TO FIND SOMEONE YOUTHFUL!"

That's when Lee spotted Ino rearranging a display of flowers.

_She's not all that beautiful… but she seems quite youthful with the way she's blabbing at Sai-kun's ear…_

Ino chomped away at her gum, continuing to talk poor Sai's ear off.

He studied her for a few minutes and watched her body language. Lee then realized by her provocative way of dressing, and the way she was batting her lashes at Sai, she was a flirt.

Lee frowned heavily, his face turning an un healthy color of green.

" I HATE FLIRTY BITCHESSSSSSSSS!" He screamed into the air, which gathered the attention of all the men, women, and children in the area.

He growled loudly, getting extremely enraged.

Lee's eyes filled with fire and rage, his fist in the air," I WILL FIND THE PERFECT WIFE!"

He ran to women in the street, asking for their hands in marriage. Which resulted in either a mad beating from the woman's husband or boyfriend, or a smack in the face by said women.

Lee sat on the curb, his face covered with hand marks and bruises. Tears streaming in rivers down his cheeks yet again." I HAVE FAILLLLEDDDD ~~~!"

Lee sat there and sobbed in his own sorrows for three hours.

Three fucking hours.

Who the fuck does that?

It was beginning to get dark and Lee decided that his river of tears had to stop eventually. He stood up, his face blank, no sign that he was crying at all. Lee began walking slowly, in hopes that someone would spot him and ask him what his problem was. (Because Lee wanted to be the center of attention, ALL THE TIME.)

Lee stood up tall remembering what Gai-sensei has once told him.

"_When you're sad from rejection, keep your head up and find a prostitute!" _

He smirked in the creepiest way in the world and started on his search for the street walkers.


	2. Chapter 2

**you know what? boys are dumb. someone propsed to me, and got mad when i said no! it's like, im only in high school, dude. back it up. lol. ANYWAYSSSSSS. Fuck karin. (: i make mean to her in this chapter. **

**i dont own naruto,**

**if i did, karin would have stayed dead! **

* * *

It was dark outside. All the lights in the homes were off, a sign that the people inside were sleeping, and the streetlights were on. It had begun to sprinkle rain, but Lee hardly noticed as he went on his search for a prostitute. This wasn't his first time trying to find one. He had looked for one once before and accidentally mistook Tenten for one. That resulted in a major beating on his end, but hey, the bitch should quit dressing like a whore. She thought she was impressing Neji, but all she was doing was making a fucking whore of herself.

Lee did his-what he thought was- sexy strut as he worked his way down the sidewalk. Glancing around at a few of the people out this late, he realized none of them were tricks.

Thee green jumpsuit clad ninja sat down on a bench and began his wait for a girl to take home.

* * *

Karin pulled the hood to her boobless jacket over her head as the rain came down. She scuffled her shoes along the side of the street. She had been walking around for a while, extremely depressed because the tranny bar down the street had been closed due to illegal sex.

How is sex illegal? It's not like anyone was paying for it…

Okay.

They _might _have paid for it, but it wasn't like it happened all the time!

Okay.

It _did _happen all the time.

It's still ridiculous though!

She stared up at the sky and scratched her synthetic boob. It was tremendously late and Karin was the two big H's.

Hungry and Horny.

The bitch dug around in her pocket and pulled her hand out to see she only had a button, some lint, lube, a condom, and a little cocaine (it wasn't hers, she was "holding" it for an acquaintance.)

Growling in frustration, Karin decided she would have to sell her body, again.

She walked around for a few blocks and accidentally tripped a few times. Damn her mom for giving her immense vulgar feet.

Noticing a guy sitting at bench, whom she had never seen before, she decided he looked like he could use a good lay.

Walking as sexily as she could up to him, she began her seducing procedure.

* * *

Lee watched as a woman approached him in a horrifying way. By the say the girl was looking at him, it looked like she was ready to eat his eyeballs, and that twitch in her eye? Was she doing that on purpose or was there something wrong with her?

His bug eyes watched every intimidating move as she made her way closer to him.

_OH. This woman is a prostitute. YOSHHHHH! I'm gonna have youthful excitement in the bed!_

Lee watched more intently as she stumbled out of the darkness, and he blinked a few times.

_She's not all that pretty…_

_Nor does she seem very youthful with those bags under her eyes…_

Nose crinkling, eyes squinting, and testicals shrinking in size (for some unknown reason), Lee looked up at the woman before him.

"You wanna get some action going on, big boy?"

_My god. _

_She sounds as manly as she looks!_

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but I don't really want any from yo-"

"NONSENSE! YOU WANT SEX FROM MEH, AND YOU WILL LIKE IT. PAY ME MONEY!"

Lee stared at her for a few moments, debating on if he should take the offer.

He needed some sex..

But on the other hand this girl was nastier than his right ball, which as turned green from his jumpsuit. He couldn't quite understand why his left one wasn't green though…

Finally deciding he should just go with it, Lee nodded and stood up, and grabbed her hand.

"WE WILL GO TO MY YOUTHFUL HOME OF YOUTH, I EXPECT YOUR NON YOUTHFUL ASS OUT OF MY YOUTHFUL HOUSE BY A YOUTHFUL HOUR OF NOON."

Karin simply nodded.

And off they went to have intercourse.

…

…

...

"OH MY KAMI YOU HAVE A FUCKING UNYOUTHFUL PENIS!"

* * *

After that, Lee found he liked penis way more than the gine, which led him to resolution to why no woman wanted him.

Lee decided since Karin looked like a woman, but secretly has a peter, he would marry her.

* * *

Lee only paid her twenty bucks for the sex.

**(: review? **


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